7 Stupid Realities of the Wizarding World

J.K. Rowling’s magical world of Harry Potter seems like every child’s dream, but there’s some often overlooked stupidities and inconveniences that exist there. Here are 7 stupid Realities of the Wizarding World:

1.There’s No Electricity

J.K. Rowling says electricity makes electronics go haywire, so none of the conveniences we appreciate today exist in the wizarding world. If you want information, guess what, you gotta go to the library and find the book that has that information, or have Hermione as a friend, I suppose. You can’t look it up, say, on the internet.

You also can’t text your friends, you either have to be right there in the room with them, or send a handwritten letter by Owl. I guess they technically have Facetime, though, it just operates on a fireplace, rather than an Apple product.

But it’s not just super convenient modern technologies that are affected by this. There’s no lamps, save for maybe oil lamps, people use Candlelight in the wizarding world, or sunlight. I guess they can magic some light out of their wand, though, so that makes up for it.

2.No One Knows Math

Well, at least, it’s not taught at Hogwarts. This is extremely odd, because the students take classes where math would be useful, like Potions, where they have to measure ingredients. Heck, simple arithmetic is undoubtedly useful whether you’re a wizard or not.

There are probably accountants who work for the Ministry of Magic, right? Where did they learn math? Do they even use math?

Sorry British followers, I meant “maths”.

3.Wizard Money Makes No Sense

Money comes in 3 forms in the wizarding world, 3 very very odd forms. Bronze Knuts, Silver Sickles, and Gold Galleons. And the exchange rate is about as convoluted as could possibly be. You might be thinking 4 Sickles make up a Galeon, or 10 Knuts make up a Sickle, or something like that, and if you are thinking that, you’ve learned nothing about how ridiculous the wizarding world actually is.

No, 1 Sickle is equal to 29 Knuts, yes 29! Not 25 or 30, or 50, or anything that makes sense, twenty-frickin’-nine! Oh and Galleons? No, not 29 Sickles, it’s 17 Sickles or 493 Knuts. In a world without math, what the actual fuck? Who understands this system? (Goblins…only Goblins).

Oh, and did I mention there’s no paper money? It only comes in coin form, so every wizard or witch has to carry around a big satchel of money, if they plan on buying anything. Remember how I said there’s no electricity? Yeah, that means no credit or debit cards either.

4.Dumbeldore is A Terrible Person

In almost every single book, Dumbledore allows the students of Hogwarts, especially Harry, and by extension, Ron and Hermione, to be threatened by and attacked by multiple things that could kill them. In the first book, Every student is able to access the third floor corridoor, where a giant, three-headed dog is waiting there. (It’s not one of those firendly dogs, either!)  He leaves a mirror in a random room, where anyone could stumble upon it, a mirror that Dumbledore himself says people have wasted their lives away in front of.

In the second book, several students are terrorized by, and nearly killed by a monster, and instead of sending them home while he deals with the threat, he just…lets it happen. In the end, much like in the first book, Dumbeldore doesn’t even do anything to stop it, Ginny almost dies, and Harry risks his life (he could’ve easily died too) fighting it. And when he tells Dumbledore about it, he isn’t even phased. Not to mention, this is the second time, in two years that Voldemort, the most powerful evil wizard in the world, has appeared at Hogwarts, and Dumbledore keeps running the school like normal.

And this continues book after book.

I’ll also add that Dumbledore hired Snape, an ex-Death Eater, who is consistently abusive to his students, to work at his school. Once more, he calls this abusive man his friend.

Let me also say that teachers at Hogwarts are not given any kind of background check, and Dumbledore regularly hires potentially dangerous teachers to be around children. If they conducted background checks, nearly every Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher wouldn’t have been employed throughout the series.

I guess that’s why he’s called “Dumbledore” and not “Smartledore”.

5.Slavery Is Perfectly Okay, and Nobody Questions It

Nobody except Hermione. Hermione is adamantly against the enslavement of House Elves, and any time she expresses it to anyone, they laugh about it, like it’s no big deal, to the extent where, I believe it’s Ron who says, “They like it.”

Remember when I talked about how Dumbledore is a terrible person? Yeah, these are his slaves. Technically they’re Hogwarts’ slaves, but he runs Hogwarts, so you do the math…oh wait.

This whole side-story about Hermione trying to put an end to this is like an episode of the Twilight Zone; where she knows some obvious injustice is going on, and nobody takes her seriously. It’s insane.

6.Wizards Have Stupid Things for No Reason

In the first book/movie, Neville gets a cool magic invention called a “Remembrall,” which reminds him that he’s forgotten something. Sorry, did I say “cool”? I meant completely stupid and ridiculous. The Remembrall is a ball of glass that works like this: If you forget something, it fills with smoke. That’s it. It doesn’t tell you what you forgot, or when you forgot it, or anything. It just fills with smoke. There’s an invention in the wizarding world that works similarly, although it does tell you what you’ve forgotten, and there’s no smoke. It’s called a piece of paper and a pen. What’s that? Wizards don’t have pens?

Yeah, that’s another thing, wizards use ink and a quill to write. That’s it, that’s the whole thing, but why, though? Pens and Pencils aren’t electronic, and there’s no practical argument for quills, pens already have ink in them, you don’t need an inkwell to use them. What’s the point?

Remember when I talked about how Dumbledore is a terrible person and how he subjects his students to dangerous things all the time? Well, usually those dangerous things aren’t things students are required to have…then again, sometimes they are. Case and point, the Monster Book of Monsters. A book that will bite you relentlessly unless you stroke its spine, but of course nobody is told that until they get to class.

The Wizarding world is full of studpid shit like this.

7.Hogwarts is a Death Trap

If Jigsaw was a wizard, Hogwarts would be the result.

I’ve already talked about how Dumbeldore has almost no respect for the lives of the students at Hogwarts, subjecting them to terrible creatures and people, and usually these things come from the outside, or they’re teachers hired by Dumbledore, but Hogwarts itself has a shocking number of dangerous things in and around it.

The Womping Willow. A tree that swings and strikes and attacks anyone who gets near it.

The Forbidden Forest, which is full of deadly, bloodthirsty creatures who have no problem killing people. (Did I mention Dumbledore allowed students to go into these woods in their first year?)

The Lake, which, like the forest, is full of deadly creatures that would have no problem killing students. Did I also mention that first year students must travel by boat, across this lake to get to Hogwarts, but more experienced students, in later years, get to take a safe carriage ride to Hogwarts.

The Staircases move, and, at least in the movie, some of them don’t have handrails. (These are staircases sometimes 3, 4, maybe 5 stories high.)

Peeves the Poltergeist torments students and teachers, sometimes in ways that could seriously injur them.

In Quidditch, the bludgers could knock a student unconscious, break their bones, or potentially even kill them. Granted, these things are easier to fix in the Wizarding World, but I feel like that shouldn’t be an excuse to subject students to them.

You know when Scooby-Doo and the gang go into a haunted mansion, and there’s all sorts of crazy stuff going on, like suits of armor trying to chop their axe into one of them, or secret passages and trapdoors causing them to disappear? That’s basically Hogwarts.


About The imperial Settler

I love board gaming! I would do it every day if I could.
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